If a girl is liked by an authority figure

By Alinne Lopes via UN Volunteers

We all like it when the person we like has a crush on us, when someone does special favors for us or goes out of their way just to be with us. It is very exciting to love and be loved or to be really liked by someone else.

This feeling changes when the person who likes us is an authority figure; by authority figure I refer to someone who should not be interested in having a physical relationship with you, usually much older, such as a school professor, your physician, your parents friend, your friends parent or similar. This is different from being a favorite student or a young friend and by being liked, I mean the authority figure wants to pursue a romantic relationship with you.

It doesn’t matter whether you are of legal age or not but such an admiration from the adult can cause a lot of conflict. If you are under 18, no matter if the adult is good to you or if you kind of like them or hate them, do not pursue such a relationship, not even in secret. What you should do is report them to the rightful authorities, yes, even if they threaten to hurt you. Do not fear and do your best to protect yourself from them.

If you are of legal age, you also have a right to report any inappropriate relationships. If possible, get evidence of the adults behavior toward you, you could record your conversations, keep record of the text or emails sent to you or even rally the support of your friends.

The conflict deepens if you also like this authority figure. If you are of legal age and this is the case, consider why you may be interested in a relationship with this adult? Is it because of their position of power? Is it because you just want to have fun and fulfill lustful desires or because you feel obliged to pursue this relationship by the adult or even your peers? Have you considered if the adult is actually in a committed relationship, married or even has kids?

When faced in such a situation, avoidance will work best for you. Avoid this adult and no matter how you feel, refuse their advances.  Them being in an authorities position may put you at a disadvantage but by all means, avoid any instance where you have to be alone with this adult. 

Consider doing what is best for your long term future, seek the advice of trusted adults or family members and even the advice of a counselor. Do not handle such a situation alone. Call the police whenever you feel threatened. Be safe.


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