If a girl wants to commit suicide

By Claudia, 23, Ecuador & Brazil via UN Volunteers

I will tell you why you shouldn’t commit suicide. I know, I know nothing about your story or the darkness that you are going through, well, it is even a miracle that you got this far. Every day for you is a survival that is not celebrated but I would like you to know that your life is worth celebrating, every single day.

Suicidal thoughts lead to suicide, which means killing yourself for whatsoever reasons. I could go into the statistics of how many people kills themselves everyday but I won’t, because you are not a statistic and those who took their lives are not just numbers. They are humans, who once lived and fought many demons that they couldn’t overcome in the end. That will not be your story because today you will beat those suicidal thoughts and conquer.

Suicidal thoughts can be caused by mental illness, chronic sadness, losing something or someone you cherished the most in your life, feeling very angry about your life and imagining that death will give you permanent rest from your trouble. I cannot tell you what death gives but I can ascertain you what it leaves. It leaves pain, pain enough that the person who’s affected in some way by the suicide will feel like committing suicide too. It leaves devastation,  imagine those who would have to find you and worse, imagine those you leave behind.

Death is a dark day and don’t surrender to it at your own hands because that is quitting. Giving yourself a middle finger because another day being you is hell. Also, it doesn’t pay, you cannot be sure that what you live behind in this life does not affect what happens when you die because we really don’t know what’s on the other side.

I know you are suffering, I know you are tormented inside and I know you can’t sleep at night but I also know you have what it takes to conquer. I know you have what it takes to turn your life around and enjoy this life. Even if you didn’t ask for it, you only have one chance at it. It is possible to enjoy life in many healthy ways. If you want to kill yourself to hurt another person, it is like shooting an arrow at yourself and hoping the enemy dies – really not a good idea. It will leave a harsh memory of you as well so try to bring smile and not sadness.

Image: http://kazhawkins.com/

If you are feeling suicidal or depressed, don’t keep this to yourself. Talk to a therapist or counselor about it. Do not withdraw from other people. Withdrawing from people and seeing that they don’t come after you may make you feel worthless but really if you stick around the people you love, you will see their need for you. Stay away from areas with high suicide rates. Do the thing you love the most every day. Allow yourself to be sad but don’t let that determine your life. 

Call the suicide hotline and share your problems. Join a support group near you and help others who are struggling. Give yourself life goals and if you get disappointed, try again. If you’ve lost everything, know that you were born with nothing so don’t let that break you.

And most of all, know that you are not a mistake. Having survived in your mother’s womb, living to your age and surviving all the dark thoughts that want to control you makes you a superhuman on your own. Be safe.

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ABOUT CLAUDIA

Claudia is Ecuadorian and Brazilian and has a civil engineering degree. She says: I am a positive person even though I have had my ups and downs in life as everybody else. I believe that with a positive attitude and hard work we can overcome pretty much anything. In my relatively short life, 

I have learnt we should only be concerned with what we think of ourselves, we should make an effort to become a person we could be proud of. I am not even close to that but I work every day to be able to achieve it. I joined the UN volunteers about a month ago and I hope I can make a difference, however small it may be. If I make someone smile or help them in any way I would have accomplished my purpose.